"Now as you understand,"
said MacArthur, his white coat flapping as he walked,
"The thought experiment room is very expensive and your publisher has told me to remind you of this."
The thought experiment room was the very latest in writing technology. It could be used to accurately create any theoretical situation which the writer could then use as research material for their latest work.
"Ok," replied Park, rubbing his eyes. "I want to see what happens when a person meets themselves."
"Right," MacArthur replied. "That's easily doable..."
"And I don't want anything left to chance, make them two versions of me and make them have today fuzzed out a bit, so they don't both just say 'uh I was just having breakfast and now I'm here' and make it so they both come in at opposites sides of a symmetrical room...."
"That's all very doable Mr Park. Will you follow me to the Control Room, please?"
MacArthur and Park ascend a set of grilled stairs to the control room.
Once in the control room they looked down upon a blank white room with 4 doors.
"It will begin shortly, Mr Park. Do you have your note book ready?"
"It's all up here," Park said, tapping his index finger against his temple.
Down in the room two men enter, identical to each other and Park up in the control room.
Their eyes blink in unison and a look of confusion and disbelief soon appears on their faces.
"Hello"
"Hello"
They both raise their left arm and briefly afterwards wince.
"So it's not a mirror then. What's happening?"
"So it's not a mirror then. What's happening?"
The men stand roughly 10 feet apart and both grasp their chins. We can but assume their mind is racing.
"I can't remember how I got here..."
"I can't remember how I got here..."
and a joint look of realisation appears on each man's face.
"The fucking thought experiment room. I'm a fucking clone"
"The fucking thought experiment room. I'm a fucking clone"
Both men unhappily walk back to the side of the room they originally came from and slump against the wall, placing their heads in the arms. This continues for some time.
Back in the Control Room, MacArthur turns to Park.
"Is there anything else you would like us to do?"
"Well, now that you mention it... could you introduce a couple more clones?"
"Certainly, Sir"
At right angles to the slumped Parks two more Parks enter the room.
Blinking with disbelief they first notice themselves and the other two Parks slumped on the floor.
The other two Parks look up to their rights then their lefts and say
"Don't bother. It's the Thought Experiment Room."
"Don't bother. It's the Thought Experiment Room."
"Oh..."
"Oh..."
say the other two Parks and they themselves slump on the walls they entered from. Again this continues for some time.
Back in the Control Room Park says to MacArthur,
"Could we have it so that 4 enter the room every couple of seconds?"
"Certainly," MacArthur replies and if we didn't know any better we'd say he rolls his eyes.
In Thought Experiment Room 4 new Parks enter. They have a bemused look first seen on the first two Parks and then repeated on Parks 3 and 4.
The 4 previous Parks look up and open their mouths
"Th.."
"Th.."
"Th.."
"Th.."
They begin to utter when 4 more Parks enter the room banging into the 4 Parks who had just entered.
All 12 Parks in the room are now confused.
The First 4 Parks are heard to sigh, something that would be inaudible were it not for the fact it had been quadrupled.
The 8 Parks who have recently entered are startled and confused. They face the Park who has just entered from the same door as them and all have a look of fear on their faces.
Before they can talk another 4 Parks enter the room.
The second 4 Parks that entered the room scream.
"WHATS GOING ON"
"WHATS GOING ON"
"WHATS GOING ON"
"WHATS GOING ON"
as they are butted forward by the arrival of another 4 Parks. The other standing Parks are still confused and becoming increasingly wedged in.
The first 4 Parks are observing this; their faces almost blank with a slight look of disdain.
Things quickly descend into pandemonium. Various groups of Parks can be heard screaming
"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?"
Other's still
"GET OFF ME!"
After one minute the room has 124 Parks in various states of distress, several pushing others over and others crawling around a mimic of 3 further Parks in the room.
From the control room Park comments to MacArthur
"There's quite a beautiful symmetry to the squabbling and crawling."
"Hmmmm," MacArthur replies
At the minute and a half point the first 4 Parks have moved from their state of annoyance and have actively started scrambling for the doors. They find themselves impeded by the Parks that are already there and the constant influx of new Park.
After 2 minutes there is barely enough room for standing let alone the patches of mirror image fighting that have occurred. The whole room resembles a grotesque, squirming game of "pile on".
Now, dear readers, having a delicate sensibility I will not go into great detail of what happened next but suffice to say the room got very full indeed.
In the control room MacArthur turns to Park,
"For the structural integrity of the room we must end the experiment now"
"Fine," says Park smirking.
MacArthur speaks into Walkie Talkie.
"We're going to need the fork lift and hoses down there again," he says.
And more quietly
"Bloody typical, bloody typical."
