1. Always be a comedian; never don't be a comedian.
2. Make that fart noise.
3. Never be still. All the best jokers pretend to be aeroplanes.
4. Prime the audience by laughing for a while, then they will understand.
5. Eating is funny and eating funny foods is funnier. Try eating funny foods.
6. When telling a story put "Mr." in front of the names of all the inanimate objects.
7. Try listing the names of famous comedians. People will remember the jokes they told and begin laughing.
8. If a joke doesn't work standing up chances are it will when repeated lying down.
9. If something is popular mention it every other sentence. This may have to be upped to every other word depending on your audience.
10. Be yourself and don't be yourself at the same time and be yourself.
