Book

Johannes wrote a book once. He gave it to me, he had had it printed at one of those vanity presses that I assume used to have a lot more traction before the digital era began in earnest. Now, I assumed, they existed for people like Johannes, or people with the same intention as Johannes, or just people who wanted to have a book published.

I can’t say I read it from cover to cover. The story seemed to start with the tale of a man who obsessed with frogs and detailing all of the frogs in his life, where he had seen them, their sizes and what he liked about them. After a while this abruptly stopped and there just appeared to be tables of food. The tables looked like this:

Item	Category
Baked Beans	Roof of mouth
Sugar Syrup	Crying
Egg Shells	In Feed
7 Up	Crystals

This continued for a while and then there were several pictures of dogs that (I assume) Johannes had drawn. The book finished with a list of everyone he had ever met and the colour that they reminded him of.

He asked me how I liked it and I said I liked it well enough and asked him why he had published it.

He said he had always wanted to write a book and that was the book that he had in him so that was the book that came out.